At last ……. my love has come along …...my lonely days over …….and life is like a song …..

This entry is a personal one for me..... one that I wouldn't probably have shared normally. But as I'm sharing pretty much everything these days I've decided to post it.....

One thing about being diagnosed with cancer is the friendships you have. There are people in your life that either come into focus more, step back into your life after maybe being away for a while or those friends that simply fade away into the background. It can be for whatever reason. Maybe they don't connect with you anymore, maybe they want to connect back with you after being absent for a while, be there for you. Or maybe cancer is just too scary and they have to take a step back. But for those that do decide for whatever reason to fade into the background. There's nothing I can do about it. I'm not going out running after these people and trying to get them to stick around in my life..... if they have chosen not to be there, that's fine. I'm good with it. I see it as part of life and friendships when these things happen. Having cancer certainly puts friendships into perspective more. It makes you realise what's more important and who is important.

Life really is a journey of discovery and learning. We take things from different people and situations in our lives, each and every one of us has a different view on things and gets different learnings from the same situations. People can offer lots to one person but nothing to another. It really depends what we need to learn from them. Or where we are at in our lives. My journey is also one of discovery and learnings. Friendships are fragile or strong. There are so many people reaching out to me at the moment. It can be quite overwhelming. And then there are those that have fallen away..... Reason... Season .... Lifetime.... I've quoted it before so I won't go into it again. But I truly do believe this poem is true. It's all about our own personal journeys and what we need to learn from them, for our lives, going forward to become a better person. I hope in some ways that I've provided the odd insight and lesson or learning for another. I guess we'll never know what people take from us....

It can be hard when the friendships span across more than one of you. Like if they become friends with both Dirk & I. What do you do if the connection is there with one but not the other? Maybe one of us still has learnings but the other one doesn't. How do you manage that friend from a couple's perspective? Does it now become more of a one on one friendship instead of trying to constantly commit to couple hook ups that one doesn't have the time or energy for? A small dilemma..... I for one have no problem letting go of people that no longer have anything to offer me. But what if the people around me want to hang on to the friendship ... not only for themselves but they want the couple connection to continue too? Do I suck it up for my partner and say ok. Or do I simply say no, you just go and do your thing with this person, I have nothing more to gain from them or offer to them....? It's a hard one.

Maybe I need to put my close relationships above all others. What is important to my closest friends is also part of my journey. This person may not have anything to offer to me, but it's important that they are still connected to our lives as it will reflect on the ones I love if I disconnect now. So there are still learnings and journeys to discover. I guess it's not always a selfish decision about these things. As the friendship will ultimately help my closest friend which in hindsight will then help me.

So this is where I have come to by writing this. I've realised
that I'm not just me anymore.... alone... single... I now have a connection with someone else that also affects how I live my life. How I am supported by the ones I love is more important to me every day. They are my family, my strength when times are tough and my soul mates..... and I also believe we have more than one soul mate in our lives. They are here for all sorts of different reasons. For the  different learnings we need in life. These are the "lifetime" friends. The ones with that special connection that is just there. Sometimes the connection is visible when you first meet them.... other times it takes a while to shine through and grows over time.....