Look, if you had one shot, one opportunity ..... To seize everything you ever wanted in one moment ..... Would you capture it or just let it slip? .....

Once upon a time there lived a beautiful princess bride who lived in a castle on a hill...... this bride was happy as she had been a bit sick recently, but now all was going well and she was feeling better and getting better every day. Her prince charming had proposed to her, and preparations for their beautiful wedding were under way.....

Then one day, unbeknownst to the princess bride, a wicked spell was cast upon her and she was turned into Bridezilla !!!! ..... WTF has happened to me.... I vowed I wouldn't be a bridezilla, and yet here I am.... biting the head off my prince charming. This isn't how I planned it. I need to take a deep breath and calm the f@#k down!! Last night I lost it, trying to tell Dirk what to do and when he questioned me, I yelled at him and told him he had no interest in our wedding !! 

I cried all night, if my mum were here, she'd be able to talk me through it. I'd be able to talk out my frustrations with her and we'd end up laughing and she would have all the answers I need..... Dirk was upset and angry with me so he quickly went to sleep with his back turned my way. I lay awake and switched on scrabble on my iPad. The first word that came up on my tiles was "sorry" .... a sign?? yep I think so. Mum must be around me after all !! More tears and then sleep. I did apologise this morning and after more tears felt a little better. Hopefully Dirk does too.

Wedding Invites w/ wedding stamps

I don't know about you, but when I'm feeling guilty and have been in trouble, I withdraw afterwards. I go quiet and find it difficult to get back to normal. It must be the guilt. The fear of appearing that you are too quick to forget how bad you've been, and therefore must not be so sorry...... Don't you just love how our minds work ??!!! 

Health-wise... I've been pretty good. Getting stronger everyday. But I've been experiencing body aches and pains. Around my joints. The aches wake me up at night. I called my nurse and asked if this was normal. She said no, and so I went for blood tests again last week (Friday) They came back all ok and normal looking. But I have a check up appointment tomorrow, just in case. Hopefully it's all just my body getting back to normal, my new bone marrow filling up in my bones and me getting stronger. I'll keep you posted.

I'm still not back at work. I don't think I can stretch this sickness thing out too much longer !! As I get stronger I will have to think about getting back into the rat race. I must be getting close to getting back as I've started to bite my nails again. This is usually a sign of me thinking about work stuff !! So far only one finger has been bitten !! Nine more fingers to go before I go back....but it's a start !! I'm not sure our bank balance can hold out much longer anyway..... I also need my hair to start growing. It's doing my head in so badly as I can't see it growing yet. People are very nice and tell me how good I look without hair, but all I see when I look in the mirror, is a cancer patient. Bald. And I don't feel confident or pretty. The weather is also getting warmer and hats are so warm. I just want to see it start growing.... that's not too much to ask is it? It's been about 10 weeks since it fell out. And 7 1/2 weeks since my last chemo. 

Chicken & Mushroom Pie

We were given a getaway to Margaret River for our engagement earlier this year and have decided to use it. Soooo looking forward to getting away for a couple of days. It'll be good for this bridezilla to get away with her prince charming and forget about everything wedding !!! We may even get to take in a couple of Margaret River wineries.... mmmm.

And so, this is where I'm at this week. Some good... some not so good. But in general happy. And more than anything excited beyond belief about seeing my dad and the rest of our friends and family in about 15 weeks. All together......

Well time to get back to my pie making... I made some chicken and mushrooms pies on Friday, they went down so well I'm making another batch. Will pop then in the freezer for those days when we can't be bothered to cook tea.

We've come a long long way together ..... Through the hard times and the good ..... I have to celebrate you baby .....I have to praise you like i should

It's been a hell of a journey so far... and I'm pretty sure we've still got a bit of a journey ahead of us too. I just hope that it's a smoother ride coming up and not quite as bumpy !!
SPOILER ALERT....I thought I'd share a few of the grizzly side effects from the past few months in this blog. From my stat's I can see that I'm building reader group from a website about Myeloma called "Myeloma Beacon". So for this reason, I want to share some home truths about my experiences that may help someone out there that doesn't have the support I've had.....If you know me (or work with me) there may be some things in this blog that you just don't want to know !!!!

• Diarrhoea - I had diarrhoea for about 4-5 weeks after transplant. Some days were worse than others. I was told to take "Gastrostop" if it got really bad. I only had to take this a few times. TIP*** buy some toilet wipes. These are soothing and stop any soreness !!
• Periods - I haven't had a period since January (when I started chemo) I was on 'The Pill' and my Dr advised to come off it when I started chemo as it increased the risk of blood clots. So I came off the pill. I haven't had a period since..... not sure why. My next blood test, I am being tested for hormone levels etc to check.
• Sterile - It wasn't until I met with my transplant Dr (Dr Brad) that he mentioned I may become sterile with all the treatment. It wasn't a concern for me as we knew children weren't part of our future plans. It still makes you feel a bit weird though. I'm not sure if I actually AM sterile now. It's one of the questions on my list for when I have my final check up in a few weeks.
• Tiredness - this is such a massive part of my day. I am now D+43 (6 weeks & 1 day) post transplant and I am still extremely tired. Some days I feel great and back to normal. So I go out and do shopping, normal day to day stuff, catch up with friends etc. Then I am exhausted and it takes me two days to recover. My body aches, my limbs feel so heavy I feel like I can hardly lift them..... I asked my Dr about it and he said "completely normal, you'll feel like this for approx 90 days" He said each month will just get better and better - I hope so !!
• Hair Loss - I've mentioned this before, and to share real truth (pubes included), the hair on my head fell out in clumps (so I shaved my head to a #1 all over) I am petrified it's still not growing back and I'll be bald for my wedding. The hair on my legs seems to have also fallen out. My arms stayed the same (I am blonde so my hair is very fine and fair anyway) my pubes (don't read this if you know me !!) fell out in patches. Not like a salon brazilian (as we would all love) but like a work-experience girl gave me a brazilian !! 
• Chemo Brain - I read about this when I was on CTD (my pill chemo cycles) and thought I was experiencing it. I wasn't !!! After my big dose of Melphalan (at the start of my stem cell transplant) I realised Chemo Brain had really kicked in !! I was vague, I'd stare off into space mid conversation and lose my train of thought mid-sentance. One thing I didn't do was drive for a few weeks. And looking back, this wasn't a bad thing. I just didn't have the concentration to focus. It could have been a disaster !!
• Skin Flakiness - I noticed my skin got pretty flakey for a few weeks. I got lots of dry patches on my hands and feet and my skin peeled off. I went through loads of skin moisturiser. I was told before I started treatment that my skin would be affected. I think I got off lightly with a few patches of flakiness, but I went out of my way to keep slapping on the moisturiser throughout the whole time I was taking chemo (pills as well as the infusion)

Some of my old UK cravings

• Taste - As I've said throughout all my writing, taste is affected by just about everything. It still is, but I think my taste buds are gradually getting back to normal. I've had some weird cravings. Mainly for things I had when I was little. Also cheese & pickled onions have been a big taste zapper. And chocolate and biscuits. But all in small amounts. So not too bad.

• Eyesight - Three months ago I had to get glasses. I'm not sure if this is my age (probably) rather than cancer. But I had my eyes tested last week and my eyes have deteriorated more already - this must be the drugs - My optometrist has said we will wait for another few weeks and then test my eyes again to see if it is temporary before I change my glasses again.
• Nails - my nails have grown beautifully !! YAY, this has been a positive. I've not read anything about other people's experiences, and it may be because I haven't actually done anything like digging the garden, housework etc etc to knock my nails and break them. But I thought I'd mention it as it was a nice side-effect!!

Should I carry on my blog?

I can't think of much else at the moment in terms of side effects. If there's any questions (no matter how grizzly) please feel free to ask.

Blossoms in our garden- Spring!!

The next thing to think about is wether I continue my blog...??? Now I'm in remission, is it worth it? What will I write about? Will anyone be interested? Do I care? ...... so many questions. I think for now I will continue. Especially until I know what the next steps are, in terms of treatment and ongoing care. I  can also share my bridezilla moments. It may be cathartic to share the wedding journey. Also I think I'd like to continue for at least one year. So I have my year to look back on. This will take me to Jan 26th 2013..... so for now, you are all stuck with me !!

One of the things I'm really looking forward to is "getting back to normal" although I have a feeling things may never be the same again...... sigh.....

Closer than my closest friend.... To celebrate the good times ......To help me through the hard times ......To bring me down to earth ........Remind me what's important.......

The past 2 days have been better. After my trip in to hospital on Wednesday I was given fluids. My results showed I was almost neutropenic. Which is what we are pretty much expecting / waiting for. After the fluids, its amazing how much better I felt. Even though I'd been drinking 2L water every day, it appeared I was on my way to dehydration.
My sister arrived on Wednesday evening from NZ. And all of the sudden I was feeling a whole lot better.
We've had tears, laughter and lots of "mum-moments" as I've come to call them..... Those unexpected moments when you remember something "Gerry would have said /done" and you burst into tears when you realize she's not here.....
Anyway.... It's been fab, and an absolute morale lifter having my blister here.
We're off to the hospital again now. Had a small scare last night when my temp spiked to 37.6C ... But we realized that having the electric blanket on boost before slipping into "fresh sheets" had an impact on the results !!! After I switched it down to 1 ... Temp dropped to relatively normal......
I'll be asking for more fluids again. It's so much easier than having to drink it yourself !!! And hopefully I'll be sent home for the weekend...... But we'll have to see what Tina says......
On another note ..... I'm nearly at my "target weight" from my operation last year !!! Not something I'm even thinking about, but noticed when I jumped on the scales this morning..... Heh heh..... Not all bad see?
Xxx
Quick update .... In hospital now.
Temp is slightly up 37.5C bit we're going to see what it is after fluids. Blood pressure was low too.....
Waiting for bloods to come back.
Tina says if I have to be admitted, I'll be in for about 4 days..... They all (the nurses) place bets on when you get admitted !! Lol I want in on it too !!

I'm working on a dream ......Though trouble can feel like it's here to stay .......I'm working on a dream ....Well our love will chase trouble away.....

I really don't know how I would get through all this without Dirk. And I'm not sure I can put into words how much I love him and appreciate how he has been there for me. I know if the tables were turned I'd do the same for him (I'm not sure I'd be as good as he is though) ..... but it's not the other way around. And at the end of the day he is putting up with everything.... and not complaining, and doing everything & anything for me. And his support has been relentless since January. For any carer out there... I cannot begin to think how hard it is for you. Thank you seems so little for what you do...... BIG love to you all. But ALL my love to MY carer. (he won't like this mushy stuff, but it has to be said) I love you Dirk......

I finished work on Friday..... I won't go into it too much... needless to say, I may have overdone the "farewell vino's". Maybe not the best idea, but done now. Apologies have to go out to my work friends that had to see me that way !! (hopefully by the time I get back to work it'll be forgotten !! ) awkward !! But I had fun... so that's what's important right? 

Yesterday was D-3 (the format my hospital use for transplant day calculations) Transplant day is D 0 then D+1, D+2 etc etc. until you are discharged. It was an easy start to the week with just the blood test. I managed to get sorted after that, with shopping, washing and last minute house stuff. Knowing that I probably won't have the energy or strength to do much. I wanted to get my sister's room ready and looking nice. I also needed to buy a heater for her room so she's not too cold. I'm really looking forward to seeing her, and I know it will also help Dirk. Just having the extra support here. He will be able to go out and even go back to work without having to worry about leaving me alone. So got that sorted, and then we went out for a last "drug free" dinner.

Today (Tuesday) was CVC (Central Venus Catheter) and Melphalan (Chemo) day. I was a little nervous about today. I guess knowing that someone was going to cut into my jugular and then pour in a drug that will make me feel like shite will do that to you !! So I put on my colourful jumper and even made up my face to help make me feel happy and not sick looking (it may sound vain, but it makes me feel happier to look healthy) and we drove into hospital. As always, the nurses were great. I was taken to theatre "recovery" for the CVC to be fitted. It's done under local anaesthetic - not the most pleasant experience - I felt most of it. The needles going in to such a soft area was probably the worst feeling. Then all I could feel was the pressure of the wires and needles. But it was bare-able. Afterwards an X-ray is done to ensure the CVC is situated correctly, then I was wheeled back down to the Haematology Care Centre (HCC) where everything is done for Haemo patients. I'm calling the CVC my new jewellery, as it dangles around my neck, and I'll be wearing it for the next couple of weeks until I'm discharged.

Dirk was waiting for me with a muffin, as I hadn't eaten anything yet. I managed to scoff a little of it before I was prepped for the infusion. To stop the mouth ulcers and probability of Mucositis they give you ice to suck before, during and afterwards. My nurses told me to continue for at least a couple of hours afterwards too. If there's one thing I've learned so far, it's to listen to the nurses and Dr. They go through this everyday, with a variety of patients and situations. They Know !! So I have listened to what they've told me so far and followed it to the hilt. 

The day was relatively painless and we returned home around 2pm. Mav had decided to eat his bed !! lol... we had left both dogs inside as it was raining badly and we didn't want to get home to wet dogs !! We knew they'd be a surprise at home, we just weren't sure what it was going to be.

I continued to eat ice until just before 4pm. Then I called dad to let him know about my day before I fell asleep until 7:30pm. We had some tea and watched some TV and now I'm in bed... they also put me back on the dexamethasone (hence being awake still at 12:45am !!) but I'm also paranoid about how I feel... silly I know, but I'm also watching the Olympics so it's not all bad !!

Tomorrow is a "rest day" and I intend to rest before the implant on Thursday. Drink lots of water and stay away from germs !! Fingers crossed all will be un-eventful.....

Once again, thanks for all the messages, posts and emails. I know I may not have responded to all of you, but thank you all the same. I've had some great emails from people I haven't spoken to for a while, it's great to hear from them. Also from people I don't even know. I'm sorry if I haven't responded yet... I still intend to. But I hope this blog helps in some way to anyone that may not have the support I have, or is just interested in the whole process....

Anyway, as usual this is a late night entry, which means, when I read it again in the morning I find spelling mistakes and incorrect grammar (which I hate) and sometimes cringe at what I've written. But I guess that what happens when you share your personal shit with the world !!

Night, Night, God Bless xxxx 

The title is dedicated to Dirk - "Working on a Dream" by Bruce Springsteen.

In this life long and hard though it may seem ..... Live it as you'd live a dream...... Aim so high...... Just keep the flame of truth burning bright.......

  I've been awake since 4am. A lie in really seeing as the past week I've been waking up at 02:21am !! I played solitaire on the iPad for a while and then thought "blog" .... why not?
Actually, I think I drank too many SSB's last night, so I also have a bottle of nutrient water open to re-hydrate before work today !! .... I know... I know.... shouldn't have done that !! I will never learn !!
The insomnia has been a little frustrating.... I have no idea why I'm waking up in the middle of the night. I'm not on any specific drugs at the moment so you'd think I'd be sleeping like a baby - or maybe I am.... just a newborn that wakes up every four hours !! doh !!
Dad sent a letter to his friends this week. It was so beautiful, but made me cry so much too. If anyone can write a beautiful letter it's dad. This is the time where everyone gets back to normal ..... but when we are left with a massive gaping hole in our lives where mum used to be. I think this is the hardest time of all. I can't imagine how hard it is for dad. If there's one thing I can't wait for it's that big hug that he's bringing to me in a couple months.... flights are booked for dad.... and also brother and sil (sis-in-law) !! WAHOOOO talk about exciting. Looks like that wedding might just be taking place after all.
Talking of flights booked..... we've also used some frequent flyer points to get my sister out from NZ to be a carer for me. Hopefully this will also help Dirk out from doing all the work.
We've been absolutely paranoid this week..... half of Perth seem to have come down with flu ... people are walking around town germ infested and coughing all over each other..... so far we've been lucky avoiding it. But then on Monday Dirk came down with the beginnings of flu.... I went into meltdown and barked orders at him about how to get better and getting to the Dr's. Luckily he was able to get in to see our Dr. and he was put on antibiotics. We haven't touched each other since and I've already gone through a can of Glen20 !! The last thing I want is to have a delay on next week's treatment. I just want to get through it and focus on getting better. 
Had bloods done yesterday and have an appointment with Dr Brad tomorrow. Then Monday it's more bloods. Tuesday is the day I have the cannula fitted then straight back to the ward for the Melphalan (chemo) infusion. Wednesday is a "day off" before the Thursday stem cell implant. I am then sent home to recover - being closely monitored by everyone. Sounds pretty simple to me !!! 
OK... I have to interrupt this serious talk as there is an ad on TV for "Magic Mike" mmmmmmm - this might have to be my "recovery movie". When I'm having a bad day, Magic Mike will have to be played. It could be the only thing that makes me feel better.... except Dirk of course !! <cough> of course. 
Where was I ? .... skin peeling.... another side effect I've begun to experience. Not quite as nice as Magic Mike..... reality is a bitch !! 
Well it's time to get up now and get to work. I have two days left before the break...... 
I'll try and blog as much as I can over the next few weeks. You may not get pictures and long updates but will do my best..... 

Winter Beach Day

First time in the Ocean

In this life long and hard though it may seem ..... Live it as you'd live a dream...... Aim so high...... Just keep the flame of truth burning bright....... - M-People - Search for the Hero Inside Yourself

Tell me how I'm supposed to breathe with no 'hair' .... Can't live, can't breathe with no 'hair' ....

It's falling out !!! (My hair) Today.... as in, right now !! Yesterday it wasn't... today it is. In clumps too.
I was prepared for it..... just not today. I knew it was going to happen. I just thought it would be after the next lot of chemo... and I wouldn't be at work ! I'm not really quite ready today... I was preparing for 2 weeks time. I haven't had chance to practice my bald look yet. Hopefully it won't take much practice, especially as I only have overnight now to get it down pat !! eBay might take a hammering tonight.... get your hats online eBay sellers.... I'm coming !!! Hat donations also welcome peeps....... Oh well..... here goes I suppose. Now I must go out and get that Hermes scarf !! ..... and the clippers - gulp.

Piet Mondrian - Art Gallery of WA

Anyway... I am drug freeeeeeeeeee!! I can't believe how different I feel compared to the past 6 months. I'd really forgotten how it felt. In fact it's been nine months since I felt like this... in fact, I've not been this weight and felt like this. Nine months ago I was "post surgery" and still losing weight. So to be able to enjoy the way I feel at the moment is quite a nice feeling. I'm still tired. I've been sleeping a lot. But during the day I feel good. I went back to work yesterday for just two weeks. This is how long I have until the Stem Cell implant happens. Yesterday Dirk & I went to hospital to visit my nurse practitioner - Tina - She went over the whole process of phase two. And I have to say, she is pretty amazing. We also bumped into my Dr - Dr Brad. He was saying how well my collection went. To understand how the collection calculations work I have copied the following:

"How many stem cells do I need? Over the years, a number of studies have been completed to determine the number of stem cells you need to safely undergo high-dose therapy. The number of stem cells is quantified by a special laboratory technique called “CD34+ cell analysis by flow cytometry.” A small sample of the stem cell collection is tested for the number of CD34+ cells in the product. We know that a minimum number of stem cells to safely complete a transplant is 2 million CD34+ cells per kilogram of body weight. The number of CD34+ cells is checked in each daily collection and the number tallied. The stem cell collection process continues daily until the planned number of stem cells is collected – usually 1–4 days. Some transplant centres check the number of CD34+ cells BEFORE starting leukapheresis to make certain there will be a good collection that day. Most transplant physicians collect enough stem cells for two transplants (over 4 million D34+ cells per kilogram body weight). "

Giorgio de Chirico
Art Gallery of WA

The reason Dr Brad and Tina were so happy was that my "CD34 - Absolute Count" was 97.3 from just one day !! Yay me !! (They needed the count to be 4 Million CD34+ cells per kilogram of body weight.... mine was 9.7 Million - I think!!)
The next hour was spent talking to Tina bout the next stage. One comment that kept being repeated was " I'm not going to lie to you.... it's not going to be easy"
Diarrhoea, tiredness, sickness, mouth ulcers, indigestion, fever, bruise easily, hair loss..... these were the most common side effects. My body must have heard this and saved me the worry of the "hair loss" by getting that one over with nice and early !! Thanks body !!
So anyway... I was also thinking about my blog and once I start this next stage. I will try my utmost to blog what's happening, but the posts may be very short and also randomly posted  as I really do not know how I am going to be. Like I said though, I will try my best to share what's going on.

Black cockatoo in our tree

I have no idea how I'm going to manage a photo a day too. I mean, how different does a ceiling look day after day !! Another thing I will have to do my best with.
One of the most exciting things that has happened this week though..... and it negates all the above feelings and makes me happy...... is that my dad has booked his flights and will be coming to visit. BIG YAY !!! Soooo excited and cannot WAIT to hug him. If there is one thing that is going to get me through all of this, it's the thought of seeing all my family soon. If all goes according to plan, we may have a wedding to plan for January. This is going to keep me very busy and just a tad excited. But before I jumped too far ahead, I will get through this so I can get excited about 2013. This is my plan.......

Wahol

Note: I caught up with a very dear friend last week and we decided to go to the Art Gallery of WA.  They had an exhibition of Picasso to Warhol. I had a great time taking snaps of the art. Afterwards we came home and hit the vino..... I believe I went to bed around 2:30am.... to be honest with you, I can't remember....

And won't you kiss me..... On that midnight street....... Sweep me off my feet...... Singing ain't this life so sweet

When I was a little girl ... about 4-5 years old.... our nana would take my sister and I to the Harvest Festival at the local church in Castle Donington. There would be vegetables and flowers all over the church. Displays made out of seeds, fruit and vegetables. I don't remember much else about it. Just that cool, calm feeling in the church, voices echoing, the sunlight shining through the stained glass windows.... and my nana holding my hand so I wouldn't do my normal disappearing act, which I always did if i was free of a hand. My grand-dad was a market gardener, so Harvest Festival was always an occasion that was close to nana's heart.
That was all I knew about "harvesting" until this past week...... 
This latest harvesting experience was not about vegetables or flowers though. It was about plasma..... white blood cells... and stem cells. Building up the amounts so they could be sucked out of me and put on ice. So that in a few weeks I can have them put back in. This is the new harvesting in my life.
The flu like symptoms were the worst on Saturday. Fever, aches, headache, bone pain. It was awful. I went to bed wrapped up with PJ's on, electric blanket on and heater on. This was still not enough. At 2:30 am I was still awake and not feeling good at all. I had a temperature of 38.6C at one point. But most of the night it stayed around 37.5 - 38C. I woke up in the morning soaked through.... I had sweated so badly overnight, I'm surprised I hadn't given myself an electric shock from the electric blanket !! .... But I actually felt good. I got up and had a hot shower.... by the time I had changed and freshened up I was really feeling 100% better.  
The injections over the week were administered by Dirk. He became really good at it. One tip.... don't rush the injections. It is less painful by just taking the time to do it slowly and easily. The bone pain became manageable eventually with paracetamol. I had to walk slowly as any jerking on the body sent pain through your skeletal system. Mainly the sternum, ribs and spine area. A little in my legs - not much in arms or anywhere else. But I did get neck pain and head spins from moving my head too quickly.
So as I said... Sunday I was feeling pretty good. We decided to go and look at a couple of wedding venues in the Swan Valley. It was a beautiful sunny day. Although it was a bit cheesy with all the stretch limo's, Wedding singers, cake decorators, wedding planners...etc ...etc... we did have a laugh. AND... we think we may have found a venue..... and a date !! WAHOO !!! It's actually feeling a little bit more exciting now. I think I could get into the wedding planning shite... 
Onto Monday....7am we were on the road to pathology for the blood tests. Hospital, blood testing and potential harvesting day.... I say "potential" because based on the blood test results, the actual harvesting may or may not take place. There is a three day window for the harvesting, so if the blood results are not good enough on the first day, then they send you home to continue with the injections and repeat the process the next day. My blood test results were good so I was in for the harvesting. 
I also met another MM patient that I had met the week prior - he was on exactly the same cycle as me. We saw him at pathology and then in the Haematology Care Centre we got to chatting. (and swapped numbers) He had also had a rough weekend. Infact the symptoms had resulted in him going to Emergency on Saturday night with the fever, sweating and bone pain. Unfortunately the emergency department did not see his condition as an emergency and did not attend to him at all. He ended up leaving and going home.... this is not a good sign for the future !!

Harvesting means that you have two cannula's (one in each arm) inserted. One for blood out and the other for blood back in. In between the two arms was an "Aphorises" machine called "Freida" There is also one called "Agnetha" in the department.... anyone seeing something here? Dirk said he saw an old looking retired machine called Bjorn near the toilet.... No idea where Benji was !!
I was hooked up at about 10am onto Frieda and my new friend was across the room hooked up onto Agnetha. The cannula's went int easily and we were off...... well not quite. every time my nurse walked away. Frieda had a meltdown and red lights started flashing.... and my blood stopped flowing. When on this machine you have to sit with both arms straight. No bending as this sties the blood flow. The only thing that stopped this from happening was if I sat up straight. No slumping. I was laughing saying that mum must have been watching as I was always in trouble for slouching !! So after a disastrous first hour I was up and running. My mate across the room already had plasma collected in his "drip bag" ..... I was jealous as mine was still empty. Where's the fun without a bit of competition? But we were on our way......
The next five hours were not fun..... as I couldn't move, it gradually became more and more difficult. On top of the fact that I was to stay as still as possible, I also started to react to the anti-coagulant that they transfused back into me along with the left over blood after the stem cell's were skimmed off. The reaction to this was a pins and needles like feeling throughout my body, but mainly in my face, neck, legs and thighs. I was warned that I could get this reaction and that my lips tingling would be the sign. As I am such a brave thing and the tingling did not start in my lips, I may have been delayed in telling my nurse that this was happening. And so by the time I was hooked up to the added calcium infusion to assist in the tingling, my body was crawling..... and I still couldn't move. This all happened around 12:30pm. Little did I know that I still had another four hours of harvesting to sit through. 
Needless to say I was pretty uncomfortable for the next few hours. I managed to hold back a pee until around 3pm, but realising that I still had a while to go, I asked for the commode to be rolled in. A little embarrassing, but at least I didn't have wind or need a <cough> number two !! The tingling / pins and needles did not subside after the 1st litre of calcium, so I had to have another litre bag out into the IV. Finally at 4:20pm we had collected enough plasma / white blood cells / stem cells to be considered a "good collection." We had reached "target". The cannula's were removed and O...M...G.... I was finally able to move my arms. They were soooo numb. I was tired, headachy and stiff. I was the last one out.
During the collection, I was also able to chat to the Nurse Practitioner about the stem cell implant phase. We set a date for the implant and I got all of my questions answered. 
I have to say the nurses and staff at the haemo clinic are really amazing. They give personal care and never make you feel like just another patient. Names are remembered as are previous conversations and snippets of information. 
My implant starts on 30th July..... 
And so I returned home.... and have spent the past two days at home sleeping and relaxing. I got a call yesterday to say the quality of my collection was good and I was not required to go back in. This was also good news as I had to continue the growth hormone injections just in case I would have to go back in. 
Today was the first day in 165 days that I have not had to take any cancer related drugs.... and it has been a good feeling day.