Tuesday 19 February 2013

Somewhere in my heart there is a star that shines for you ...... Silver splits the blue ..... Love will see it through ....

Whell !! It's been sooo bloody long since my last post..... what can I say. It's been a busy time to say the least.
Happy Australia Day !!! What a year to review ....
This time a year ago, I was still in shock from being told I had cancer, about to throw a party & 2 days away from starting Chemo. On 29th Jan, my blog will be 1 !!
So what's been happening in the past 2 months ? ......not too much really !!!
I'm back at work full time, had my family over for numerous big hugs and lots of tears, met my new niece .... oh yes and I'm now a Mrs !! It's a great feeling. I married my (hash-tag) loveofmylife.
So that's about it. Short blog this month !! Hahha ... Yeah right !!
To expand, maybe just a little.....

<insert 3 week break here>

That was what I started back in Jan !! It's now 19th Feb and I am still struggling to find time to put fingers to keyboard. Life has been probably the most hectic I have ever known.... but not in a bad way, just a busy way.
My mind keeps skipping back to "this time last year". It was such a major time of my life. One of those times that I will never forget. Like the time Diana died, or 9/11 !! For me it was "that" significant. And I can't believe where I am now..... it's been one hell of a ride.
There have been some amazing times in the past 3 months. A lot of healing, a lot of tears, a lot of happiness and a hell of a lot of wine too !! Needless to say my family have been here !!! Not to mention some fabulous Perth summer weather and even more fabulous friends too. It really has been a whirlwind of emotions.
To review some of the happier times... I have to mention "I'M NOW MARRIED" yes.... me..... the spinster that was, is officially off the market !! Oh but you already knew that from my post above written last month !!
It was truly one of the best days of my life. Every time I think back I smile. I wish I could go back and do it all again over and over. Apart from the fact that I was an absolute Bridezilla. OMG .... looking back I thought I was handling things so amazingly well. I can assure you.... I wasn't !! Just ask my (nearly wasn't) husband. I can't believe what a wedding does to you ! It's actually very scary. There were moments when Dirk said he really wasn't sure that it was worth it. But in my world...in my little bald headed, "Miss Organised", "This is a Breeze" little world.... I actually thought I was coping like an angel sent down from heaven. Little did I know.... I wasn't !!! Take advice all you future brides out there..... No matter how great you think you are coping..... you're not !! BUT... having said that, at the end of the day, I wouldn't change a thing (except that one thing that I'm not going to mention in this blog ;-)
One of the most amazing things that I LOVED, was having my family and friends here. Words cannot describe how amazing it was to see people that I don't get to see all that often. My dad was here for a full 2 months. It was absolutely fanTASTic. I wasn't sure how it was all going to be, but it was awesome. In some ways, it was really amazing to get to know my dad for just him. I'm not saying I didn't know him, but I have never had the chance to spend time with my dad, just by himself. I loved it. He is an amazing person with such strength and character.....and dad if you are reading this... I love you more than anything.
Friends also need to be mentioned. The past year has really shown the many, many people in my life that I have met. I am one really lucky girl.
So ... in terms of my health.... what else? Well, I've had to have new geekster's (glasses). After a year of chemo, my eyesight deteriorated pretty fast. I'm putting it down to chemo and not old age !!
On a positive note, I have LOADS of energy, so have started walking daily. I'm really enjoying it (well as much as anyone can "really" enjoy exercise) My "husband" wakes me up at 6ish and we go for a 2-3km walk with the dogs. I'm loving the early morning coolness and once I get up and get going, I do feel better.
Work is beginning to take over pretty much all thoughts and waking moments. It is all consuming, but at the same time, I'm not hating it. At the moment, I'm learning the new aspects of my role. There is a lot of pressure and I'm having to find the best approaches via trial and error (more error's are being tested at the mo) but I'm still enjoying it.
The hardest thing of the past few weeks has been the most excruciating "Tennis Elbow"  I'm having physio for it and it's helping a little but it's now been a good 4-5 weeks. I am thinking that I need to see a doctor though.....
One thing about being diagnosed with a form of cancer, is that nothing will ever be the same again when it comes to ailments. If there is a pain, I instantly assume it could be connected.
And that is where I'm at now.... after everything had settled down and I was in remission (7th Sept 2012 - yay) I started to get very bad tingling in my lower legs and feet. It was so bad that I would wake up at night because the sheets caught my feet and pain would shoot through my lower legs. Eventually I began to lose feeling and my feet now have about 30-40% numbness on the upper part of my foot (both sides) This happened around Oct /Nov last year. It has now begun in my hands.... I have started to get some pretty severe nerve pains in my hands. At first I thought it was due to the Tennis Elbow, but I'm beginning to think they may actually be separate issues. Who knows? So I'm going to make an appointment with my GP. I don't have another appointment with Dr Ben until April. I guess if my GP wants me to see him sooner, he will let me know.
I've been seeing a physio for a few weeks and she has "strongly" advised I book in..... so I will.
So....., in order to try and get this published and "out there" without another 2 month break, I'm going to sign off. People have been extremely gracious, asking me to continue my blog. Thank you. I must admit, I have actually missed it. Hopefully, I can get back into the swing of things and post a little more often again. It is very cathartic.