like sands through the hourglass...... so are the days of our lives......

Happy Easter !!! and welcome to another whinge fest I also like to call My Blog !!

The Zometa infusion on Thursday evening went OK. Dirk was with me this time, which made it less daunting. Not much to report, other than one attempt at the needle resulted in a burst vein, so had to find another one and start again. But I have my impression of a pin-cushion down pat these days so not a problem. Infused, flushed and we were out. Straight home to change for the SPCC Night of Nights !! It was (as always) more fun because of the people there, more than the actual event. Had a good catch up with the girls(and guys) and watched the awards being presented. Dirk also won an award for his work around the club. Well deserved I thought. All in all a good night with quite a few laughs Home at midnight, popped my pills and off to bed.

Friday was not as good as it could have been for me. Although I definitely didn't get the same flu type feelings of the last Zometa infusion, I still had a few of the side effects. Mostly it was complete exhaustion and a slight feeling of flu. Most of the day I slept or was horizontal on the couch. Dirk made some Hot Cross Buns - which were delicious - and by 4pm he was off to bed for a nana nap. I decided to catch up with some episodes of Britain & Ireland's Next Top Model (LOVE) wrapped up in my blanket. I was just about to drift off when I got a sloppy and sticky(?) kiss from Maverick !! At first I didn't think much of it - sloppy kisses are a common thing - but the stickiness of this one made me wonder..... what had he been into.... then it dawned on me...... the Hot Cross Buns !!! The little bugger had jumped up and grabbed the remaining eight (yes 8 ) buns and eaten them..... and they contained sultana's and raisin's. (Sultana's are poisonous to dogs) I immediately woke Dirk, we called the emergency vet hospital and they told us to go straight in. They then took Mavvy away and gave him an injection to make him sick, then another one to calm his stomach and then some charcoal to absorb any left over toxins.... We heard afterwards that he had been entertaining the staff and enjoying himself at the hospital. And when we got the report back explaining what they had done, it also had a note saying "Maverick appears to be in excellent health and has a sensational personality" Somehow I don't think the experience was bad enough for him !! I'm thinking he may not have learned his lesson !!! Little bugger !!! He's right as rain today and has already eaten another cushion from outside... grrrrr.....

When I woke up this morning, for the first time in ages I felt quite good. I didn't have that drained feeling. It was such a refreshing feeling. I couldn't remember the last time I woke up feeling like this.... it's been months ! So I got up, made coffee and returned to the sack to enjoy. (no dirty thoughts here thank you!) We decided to hit the shops and stockpile for Easter. With the shops being closed for two whole days it's very important to make sure we don't starve !! We bought lots of chocolate (mmm) Dirk also managed to score some new clothes and shoes (I know !! him not me !! WTF!!) ...... but ... as it was Cyclo day, by 3pm the drugs have hit me again. I now feel anxious, buzzy and chemically again. The good feeling didn't last long enough :-( But tomorrow's another day.......

Some people come into our lives and leave footprints on our hearts....... while others come into our lives and make us wanna leave footprints on their face........

OK .. so don't laugh.... but I went absolutely arse over tit this morning and ended up sitting (in new work pants) in a puddle of wee....  One leg went one way, the other the other way and the last thing I saw before I hit the wet deck, was Mavvy wagging his tail watching me !! many thanks Maverick !! I think I split my difference !! He'd left a nice little (did I say little... I meant HUGE) puddle at the top of the stairs... note to self, let him out 1st thing !! But he is a cutey....

I started Cycle4 on Saturday. It's been a mixed week so far, feelings wise. Not in a bad way... just a druggy way. And today, as the four days of Dexamethsone are wearing off, I'm feeling worse !! The coming down is definitely worse than the during.... but I shouldn't complain. It's not unbearable, just that the feelings never stop. There's never an escape from one day to the next - neuropathy, teeth tension, jitters, shakes, anxiety, mood swings, tiredness, insomnia, blurred vision, bitter after taste of everything put in mouth..... OK, I'm complaining aren't I !! ... yawn, I'm beginning to sound like a broken record !!
So I've been thinking about what subjects I can also blog about, I mean you lot aren't going to want to read about the same shit every day for the next.... however long...
Dirk suggested Politics and Economics.... I think I'll leave that one to him !! Then there's the usual rants that bloggers have about what irk's them.... too obvious. Photography... you already see enough of that from me - no need to put words to the pictures.... I'm a bit stumped for ideas. But will keep you posted if I get an idea - you'll be the first to know about it !! Probably even my test bed !!

It's now Thursday.... the rest of my day yesterday was a bit of a blurr.... I don't think I spoke much last night, it was better to stay quiet as I could feel my tension rising. Today is looking like being the same. I managed to get up and get to work ok. But I feel like I'm drunk !! That out of body experience when you have to concentrate to put one foot in front of the other.... and I feel completely wasted / drained / tired / exhausted.

But tonight is the 'night of nights' for South Perth Cricket Club. The night they bring out the red carpet for all the wags !! Stand back papz !! (ok maybe not quite that flash....) Should be a laugh - as always. Hopefully we won't be too late. I have my Zometa infusion at 5pm then a quick rush home for a change and straight there. If there are any side effects from the Zometa I don't think they'll hit me until after midnight, so should be OK..... and then it's Easter.... chocolate, hot cross buns and pills - yummo !! Someone get me some bunny ears and a fluffy tail I want to hop for joy !!

At least the engagement party is now in progress. Well, the invites are out..... I haven't booked a caterer yet - still waiting on a quote - but it's on !! One way or another, we're having a party and bloody hell, I'm going to enjoy it :-)
If you were wondering about the title for this blog, it's dedicated to a former "friend" who has just done the dirty on Dirk & Steve (Dirk's business partner) He's a jerk and deserves all the bad Karma coming to him......

When I get older.... loosing my hair..... many(?) years from now.....Will you still be sending me a valentine............Birthday greetings bottle of wine?......

F*#K Multiple Myeloma T-Shirt

I've been sitting here with an empty blog space for a couple of days now.... Over the weekend I stumbled across another blogger and started to read his experience. The reason I started to read was because he was young and started on the same drug therapy as me. So I thought it would be good to compare notes... anyway, after starting at the beginning of his journey and reading on, his journey became more complicated. His stem cell transplant was unsuccessful and the cancer came back aggressively and more vigorously than before. So the next step for him was stem cell donor - they found a complete match from his older brother and he went through the same process (albeit a little more painful than the first time) only to be told that it was rejected once again - he was also suffering with shingles, infections and graft vs host disease. His prognosis is 12 months..... The guy is amazing and has maintained strength and a sense of humour throughout. But no matter how you look at it... it's a scary thought. Another reality check I guess.

And YESSSSS I know... it's just one person and there are so many other successful stories, I know all that, you don't have to tell me. It just caught me off guard, I thought I was about to read about a similar story to my own, and be able to gain some insight into the stem cell therapy and his experience through it all. He's an amazing inspiration and I'll be following his blog now, as his journey continues. For anyone interested here it is Sean's Blog

Other than my reading, our weekend was delightful. Friday night was pizza night - yum - and a quiet night watching the telly. Saturday we got to lie in until about 11am !!I started cycle4 of my chemo, then we made hot cross buns - which were absolutely delicious (yes in the Thermomix too) and more TV shows and relaxing. Saturday evening we went over to friends place for a delicious dinner. Unfortunately for Dirk it was a fantastic piece of salmon.... excellent for all of us that eat fish !! Dirk doesn't eat seafood... oops (sorry Jane, he didn't want to say anything !!) He ate half of it, and all of the salad and veg, and actually said it wasn't that bad, but I think it was a little bit of a struggle for him. Luckily the company and the conversation were fantastic so it didn't matter. And then there was dessert and choccies <drrooollll> !! Back home at midnight to swallow some more pills (Thalidomide) and off to bed. (sleep came later)

Sunday was similar to Saturday - except Dirk did a lot more than I did. He washed the cars, cleaned the back deck, we washed the pups and I did the washing. Had some Thai take-away and watched more TV.

Sleep has been a bit hit and miss again recently. Late nights and then finding it hard to wake up at 7am for work. Most of the time, Dirk attempt once or twice to wake me, but if he doesn't get a response, just leaves me to sleep. Which is ok most of the time, except I have some early morning meetings on some days and have been late a couple of times. This isn't a good thing as I hate it when people are late for my meetings, so I can't now be doing the same thing. I either have to get Dirk to whack me out of bed or change my meeting times.... but the latter could be hard as some of the earlier meetings are with other regions so are planned around their time zones.... looks like the whacking scenario is the only way to go - I can hear Dirk cheering at that  opportunity !!

Looking back at the blog I was reading over the weekend, it's got me thinking about why I was drawn to it.... my friend at work pointed out that maybe there was a reason I read the blog. I think there was / is. And I think I need to stop procrastinating over what I am going to do and start acting on these things.... like my diet options. I haven't really changed too much yet, I've been thinking about it, but haven't done anything. If I am going to beat this disease, I need to give my body every available chance. I need to eat the right foods, boost my immunity and get serious about putting the right things into me. So this is my new focus. Good energy and immune boosting foods and supplements. Another thing that I realised after reading Sean's blog, was that this is serious.... it's not going to go away.... as yet there isn't a cure. It was a wake up call to me. I need to face this head on and think about my future - my long term future !! So that's what I intend to do.

I'm off to the shops now... time to stock up on a few things. I'm not going to go full on into it, as knowing me I'll fall off the health nut wagon in about 3 days !! But I'm going to start introducing healthier options and think about what I'm eating and drinking from now on. Start thinking before reaching for the high sugar biscuits and cakes and decide if this is going to feed cancer or attack it..... watch this space......