Dear Mum,
This is a very hard letter to write. But I have to let you know how much you mean to me and how much I love you. You always said if you were sick and couldn't look after yourself, then you'd want someone to shoot you. And I was the child that you knew would pull the trigger !! Well as it turns out, they won't let me come over !! Typical !! It never turns out how you wish, hey !! I'm sorry I can't be there mum.
My first ever memory that I have, is from Kingsley Crescent. I'm not sure how old I was, but remember that old washing basket you had? The one that looked like a snake charmers basket.... I remember being in the kitchen and standing on my tippy toes trying to look inside it while you were pulling out the washing ready for the machine. I must have been about 2 or 3 because I'm sure that basket wasn't much more than 2 feet hight. Another memory is making tea for you and dad one morning, but because we weren't allowed to use the kettle, we made tea with hot water from the tap !! We thought it was perfect, I'm pretty sure you and dad pretended to drink it !! There are so many memories from our childhood.....
When we moved to Shenstone, we embarked on a whole lot more adventures..... James came along and he became my play doll. Our massive garden became our playground and most of my memories seem to be around summer and bbq's. Memories of you and dad all dressed up, going off to some ball or Round Table / Ladies Circle charter night are so vivid. The smell of dad's aftershave and the vision of you in the most beautiful ball gown walking into the lounge to show us, is something I'll never forget. You always looked so amazing, and so happy. We were always included in the excitement of everything.... whether we went with you or not.
And then as I turned into a moody, hormonal, crabby teenager I became a nightmare. Arguing at every opportunity..... sulking at everything you said and trying to hurt you with words. I moved to Australia in '89 (aged 19) and even though it was hard for you, I was never made to feel like I shouldn't go. You told me to follow my dreams and that if you were offered the same opportunity, you would have wanted to go too. It wasn't until I was 29, that we really sorted out that moody, crabby, teenager attitude. When you came out to Australia in '99 it was like I was back to being a teenager.... and I acted like one. When Snapper told me off and told me to grow up, I realised I had been acting like a spoilt brat. It was time to be an adult and make friends with my mum. And I think from that time on, we became good friends. I realised what I'd been missing out on. I saw you for the gorgeous, funny friend that everyone else saw.
Since then, I've loved every minute of our friendship. You are my idol. I admire you so much, the way you effortlessly complete things. The way you organise us all !! We sure are going to miss that. Everyone who meets you instantly loves you. Even over the past 18 months, you have made friends wherever you have been. I'm pretty sure that there will be nurses at the hospital that will be missing you already.
Mum, I want you to know that I love you more than anything. I am going to miss you every single day. Who am I going to go to when I need a recipe? Who is going to help me sort out my wardrobe? Who is going to pack my suitcase with freshly ironed clothes? I'm so bloody angry that you won't be around. BUT.... it's ok.... we'll all be ok. We'll be ok because we all love each other. We are all so lucky to have the family we have, and with the memories that we have. There's not many families that are as lucky as ours. Even though we are miles apart, we will always be close.
I love you mum. With all my heart. I wish you peace.
All my love forever - number 2 xxxxxxx
No comments:
Post a Comment