Good Morning Vixen..... you have cancer !

It's that split second in the morning when you first wake up and everything is fine.... it's the shortest of moments, pure bliss, nothing is wrong with the world.... then the soothing voice of your black angel comes crashing into your mind "you have cancer" ...... and that's it, the moment is gone again for another day.... .. my stomach has started to do cartwheels this morning. Maybe after 12 days of waking up with the same message, it's beginning to sink in. Or maybe I'm just excited at the prospect of shopping today... who knows :-)

I had a great sleep last night, a good solid 6 hours .... Dirk passed out at about 10pm, I stayed up watching TV until past midnight. Meeting with Ruth (my new friend) and going over some of the things to look forward to was on my mind a little. Nothing we talked about scared me, but a need for the reality of what is to come was on my mind. There's no doubt that there's going to be some hurdles ahead. I guess it's how you handle them that shows how strong you are. Ruth took each and every hurdle in her stride and just kept going. The chemo, the stem cell replacement (autologous stem cell replacement) the days and weeks in hospital and then the days/weeks/months afterwards recovering..... I'm not sure I had really grasped the extent of what lies ahead. But then every MM case is different, so who knows what my journey will be like?

So anyway... I've just purchased a new dress for my friend's wedding !! yay !! Very excited, I hope it gets here on time. (and I hope it fits..... online purchase)

One of the best things about my diagnosis so far has been the mental changes that happen..... You start to look at things and think "why not" so every moment becomes the best it can be.... like breakfast this morning..... halloumi & beef tomato slices (out of the garden) ... why not? delicous !! When I'm shopping for wine now.... no way am I looking at the clean skins.... I'm going to get myself a really nice bottle and enjoy every sip..... why not !! just the little things in life .... without the discount :-) I feel so bloody lucky (most of the time) I have the most amazing partner, family, friends, house, job, lifestyle, pool, pups, cat...... the list just goes on and on..... I wake up and have a coffee on my balcony overlooking the river in the sunshine, if it gets hot I have a dip in the pool.... not everyone is as lucky as I am.....

Day9....