Bruising is now becoming more frequent. I've noticed that the slightest bang results in a grey mark on my skin. I lay back on my chair the other day and now I have a bruised back !! I'll just tell everyone that Dirk's been beating me.... lol !!
My friend & I have been pondering over whether you're allowed to use cancer to get better things .... like if we get a shitty table at a restaurant... can we say "Is there something better?, it's just that.... I have cancer !!" or "can you discount that? it's just that the chemo for my cancer is so expensive that I don't have much money left!!" ......Is that bad? I mean, I figured there has to be an upside to it all doesn't there? Do you get bad Karma for using it? Or is the cancer the bad Karma so it doesn't matter?
My besty leaves tomorrow and boy am I going to be sad. Having her around for the past week has been fantastic. She has been just the thing I've needed to keep me from going insane. Driving me around, listening to me crap on and just being a water nazi. I've got used to her being here now..... maybe I'll play the cancer card on her and tell her not to go "I've got cancer Nickers.... you can't leave !!!" hahaha
There are so many things I want to write, but knowing that people are reading this sometimes stops me. If it was a personal diary, I think I'd be a little more raw. But knowing that family, friends and maybe even work colleagues are reading this, it makes you think twice before writing. I've started so many sentences and then deleted because I've thought "oh shit, so-and-so will read this, I can't say that" and then sometimes I think what the fuck, I'll write it anyway. But I guess at the end of the day, it's MY blog so I'll damn well write what I want. And if anyone uses it against me..... watch out !!!
One thing I've noticed is that the chemo makes your wee smell funny......
Day18.....
Day19....
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