I really started to notice it in Dec when I went home to England to surprise mum & dad with a "get better soon" hug. Mum was going through all her liver problems (on top of her cancer) and was just not getting better, I needed to see her more than anything.
By the time I left UK, I was hobbling and limping. The journey home was a nightmare as I had heavy cases & had to walk everywhere.
On return to Oz, it all seemed to just get worse by the day, so I went to see a Physio. He suggested I had a posterially rotated sacral iliac left sacrum joint. So I started exercises, bought a SIJ belt and continued on.
After a couple of weeks it was worse still. My sis was here with her kids from NZ for Christmas & I was struggling to sleep yet alone walk !! I ended up going to see a different Physio, purely as he was closer to home, and after 3 treatments he asked if I'd go for an MRI.
Yep, no problems, I thought, just get this bloody back sorted out !!!
Had the MRI on 11th Jan 2011 and then just waited for the report. My physio called me at 7.30am on Thursday morning saying he thought I'd better go to see my GP as the report had shown up something he didn't think was something he could treat. He said he's fax the report to my Dr and that I should call for an appointment.
I just assumed there was some bone issue that was out of the realms of physio treatment. So called my GP and as soon as I mentioned the fax report they asked me to come in immediately.
At midday, I sat in my Dr's office talking about my weight loss and recent happenings (as I hadn't been to the Dr's for about 7-8 months) and then he told me I would need to go and see a haematologist. He showed me the report (which was full of jargon words I didn't understand at all, but then ending with a summary that said "...... consistent with Multiple Myeloma" still this meant nothing. But as my Dr started to talk I realised something wasn't quite right. I asked him.... "is this like cancer of the blood?" he looked at me and said "my dear, lets not jump ahead, we need to rule out all possibilities"
He tried then to get me an appointment with a haematologist. Urgently!
It wasn't until I got back in my car and started to drive home that it began to dawn on me that things weren't as they should be..... I called Dirk and broke down into tears. He was on his way home immediately.
The waiting for appointments is the worst thing of all. I needed answers now, but obviously so does everyone else. I heard nothing for the rest of Thursday and Friday, so I called my Dr back and he jumped to action and got me an appointment with the haematologist for the following Tuesday. Along with blood tests etc o the same day.
Then it was into hospital for 3 days of tests.
First day was an X-Ray....
Second day was a bone marrow biopsy and bone core sample. (a bit like exploration drilling for iron ore but in my back - take a core sample and send it off to the lab !!)
Third day was the CT scan & tissue biopsy.
None of them were really as bad as I thought they'd be, just uncomfortable. And when all you want is answers then you will sit through anything.
My specialist (Dr Ben) cam back later that afternoon with the results of "most" of the tests. Things were looking good. So far there were no signs of irregularities in my results to indicate anything. Bloods, bone marrow plasma etc etc all normal range.
So over that weekend we were feeling pretty hopeful. I still didn't say too much as I hadn't told my family. It would be ridiculous to put them through more stress until I had the all clear and could then relay the "story"
On Monday at work, I was feeling so positive, I started to tell my work colleagues about the previous 2 weeks. I kind of wanted them to understand that if I'd been a bit all over the place, they could see why. Not an excuse, but I think a few things at work had got missed.... I was feeling a bit guilty about it all.
Tuesday at 5pm I had my final results from the other tests. Dirk met me at Dr Ben's office and we sat waiting discussing our days so far. We walked in around 5:10pm and sat down. He looked at me and said...
"unfortunately the results have come back showing Multiple Myeloma"
We were absolutely gobsmacked. I told him I didn't understand, all the previous tests were showing "normal ranges in my blood" He went on to explain the more stringent tests that had been performed which show up a rarer type of Myeloma called non-secretery Multiple Myeloma (NSMM) Harder to detect, but still there.
It was at this point that I think it really started to hit me. Dirk & I had gone through so many emotions in the past two weeks, but nothing prepares you for this moment. All you can do is take a deep breath and keep listening to the diagnosis. How it is going to change your life and whats next.....
And at the same time... all I could think of was how I would tell my family.... how could they cope with another cancer diagnosis in the family in one year ?
After an hour of listening and asking as many questions as we could think of, the decision was to start chemo immediately. I was going onto a cocktail of CTD (cyclophosphamide, thalidomide, dexamethasone) There were forms to fill in and registration number to obtain from the drug company before you can even get a prescription. So it was straight into it. Dr Ben said he'd call me the next day so I could go back in and pick everything up....... and so then we went home.
Looking back to 5 days ago (as I write this) I can't really remember the rest of Tuesday evening. Dirk is amazing and all I know is that he is right there next to me. We hugged, cried, stared a lot and then carried on berating each other as normal !
Wednesday, I got up and went to work. I needed to keep my mind busy and occupied with the day to day stuff that had built up at work. Telling people was hard - especially as I'd pretty much told most people that I was clear. But as always, there's a reason we are called "human kind" the support, kindness and love that everyone showed was overwhelming. I realised how lucky I was to be working in a company that fully supported me both personally and professionally.
Wednesday evening as I drove home from work (as it happened, I couldn't pick up my chemo drugs as the registration hadn't come through) I knew it was time to call home. Dirk was at cricket training so I walked in the door and picked up the phone.
Dad answered, he quickly asked how my back was going so it was straight into the explanation. Needless to say, it was a heart wrenching call. To put that to your dad when they are 25,000kms away and no chance of a hug for comfort is hard. Dad put me straight onto mum as she was obviously watching dad on the phone but couldn't hear what was being said..... so I repeated the news to mum. I didn't want to hang up, but knew they would need some time to process the news. I called them back after an hour and we had a better chat. I wanted them to know how strong and positive I am, that I have Dirk and my friends here and that I'm certainly not alone..... and most importantly that I was going to beat it - I was OK.
We decided that with the time difference, whoever got to speak to Jo or James first would break the news. Jo was on her way home from UK back to NZ after a flying hug visit to see mum. James was in London for work and I didn't want him to find out during his working day.....
I actually felt so much better after speaking to mum and dad. I'm not 100% sure they felt the same, however once we had got over the initial shock, it was very much a "chin up" attitude.
Thursday was Australia Day - we'd planned to have our housewarming / xmas party on this day. It was going to be 42C and I was cooking 7 roasts !! (for hot roast rolls !! yes I'm an idiot) It was so nice having everyone around - bloody stinking hot, the pool gradually went from quite refreshing to tepid bath water temperature. But, I think it went ok.... hopefully I didn't put a dampener on the mood, but I don't think I did. The wines stayed chilled and when the fireworks started so did mother nature's lightening show too.
I ended up doing a runner to bed halfway through a really nice glass of Henschke Kyneton 2008 with Kim (Dirk's brother) but never mind hey !! ;-)
Drug pick up day was to be Friday.......
Good lucky Vicky! Really do hope everything works out for the best and you recover and become stronger from this! You've got a great fighting sprit and good people around you. All the best!
ReplyDeleteJason and Deb